The thoughts of John Batchelor (or John B&Q, as he used to be called), an ex-toilet roll salesman previously best known for screwing York City:
"I want a football club, preferably one in the league. The ONLY reason that I want it is to make money. This would be MY club, if you like what you see come and watch, if you don't, then stay away. I am not even interested in discussing it with "fans", however, I will talk to customers anytime."
Step one: rename the club Harchester United, after a made-up team from a children's telly show. Seriously, it's enough to make you weep.