An argument by email: the same one as always. It was a minor thing, some direct debits she'd set up in my name and hadn't bothered to sort out, but indicative of our whole relationship. The reply pissed me off and I sent an angry response before I calmed down. Her presence in my life, no matter how small, is wholly negative.
Last week she'd sent me another, more conciliatory email, the first time we'd been in touch since before Christmas. When life doesn't turn out to be what we hoped for we paint fresh pictures of the past, adding details that were never really there at the time. She'd been reading my blog, crying when she remembered the places we'd been together. She said she couldn't understand why "you've wiped me out of your life". I sent a polite reply but I couldn't bring myself to lie: nothing she does, or did, has any value to me anymore.
Yesterday I told her I didn't want to talk to her. Not now, not ever. And I meant it.
No comments:
Post a Comment