After the Chill

Now that the snow's gone winter in Riga is depressingly reminiscent of winter in Newcastle. The same short, sunless days, damp cold, and drab, gloomy grey sky. Latvians say it's normal, that the snow, not this, is the aberration. "Twenty years ago we went cross-country skiing in every sports lesson at school. Now it only rains," one of my colleagues told me.
"When do you think the weather will improve?" I asked.
"Maybe at the end of April."

Spot the Difference

"I've inherited this. They are not my players, everybody has forgotten that. But our biggest problem is a lack of strength in depth. Why wasn't it addressed by the last manager Keegan or the manager before him Allardyce? People have said that previous managers maybe didn't get what they want. I don't believe that will happen to me. I haven't got any reason to think he won't go my way".

Joe Kinnear, January 18th.

"We've got a horrendous injury list and there are a fair amount of players we need to bring in but I want to make sure I'm in a position to do that. I've identified the players I want but whether we get them is another thing. I sit down and talk to them [Ashley and Derek Llambias, Newcastle's managing director] about my ideas. I want to bring my own players in and that's the thing I really need to sort out. If we don't get stronger it will get tight".

Same man, two days later.

Got enough reasons now, Joe? There are only three men whose opinions count at Newcastle, and the manager isn't one of them. Why else did he think he was given the job?

Lessons from the Learners: Number 4

An imprecise list of ten mistakes by intermediate level (Russian-speaking) Latvians in English:

I think no.
What you will do there?
I forgot my book at home.
How do you call a road where you ride a bicycle?
He don't like football too.
It is normally for me.
I haven't sushi.
I got out from the bus.
There is a person which looks unhappy.
I felled in love when I was 13 years.

The Freedom Monument

Advice to tourists posted on the British Embassy website: Do not urinate in public - always use a toilet. It is not worth going to jail or paying an expensive fine.

For Latvians, Riga's Freedom Monument is a symbol of the liberty and survival of their nation. For some British stag parties, it's a place to have a piss while your friends take pictures. "Those English pigs...they are a dirty, hoggish people," ranted Latvia's interior minister after a 34-year-old Londoner was jailed last year.

Oink Britannia, I suppose.

Cold Day in Riga

And a spring of discontent just around the corner.

"An indisciplined, dismal, shameless shambles."

I thought things couldn't get any worse, but I was wrong. The least painful but most difficult response is to join Ashley and three-quarters of our team in not giving a shit. Time to go, Joe.

The Overseas Cookbook

Usually when I move abroad my diet goes down the pan. Things are no different here, where I've been living on pizzas, pasta and soup, supplemented by multi-vitamins and cereal bars that I brought with me from home. I hadn't touched any greens all week before dinner yesterday, when I fried-up some pork chops and half a bag of frozen vegetables.

At least the bread's healthy.

Brassed Off

According to this 37% of Newcastle season ticket holders will be finding other things to do next season. I'm surprised the number is so low. A friend of mine has had one since the early-1990s, when Ossie Ardiles was manager and things on the pitch were even worse than they are now. Yesterday he sent me this: "I think I’ve taken out my last season ticket at SJP. It boils down to a choice between blind, stupid loyalty or financial common sense. I guess, whilst it’s not that I don’t care, I’m just becoming ambivalent."

If I was Mike Ashley, I'd be a very worried man.

Greenwash

Flights can be green, Trident is a viable twenty-first century defence system (or perhaps not). Next thing you know, they'll be trying to have us believe that ID cards are a really good idea.

On The Streets

One thing you notice straight away in Riga is the number of people driving around in big, shiny, brand new cars. Unlike other parts of the old Eastern Bloc, you don't see any clapped-out Skoda Favorits trundling about the streets, or knocked-up Ladas with their bonnets open on the pavement. With a bit of extra money, other nationalities might splash out on a bathroom extension or a 32-inch, HD ready monster for the living room wall; evidently, Latvians prefer to to put their wealth on more mobile display.