Learning English

Supposed socialist and PM-in-waiting Gordon Brown's latest Daily Mail pleasuring wheeze? All new migrants should "play by the rules" and learn to speak English. On the face of it an extremely laudable idea, and one I hope the many thousands of monolingual English migrants in France and Spain will soon also be forced to adopt. In the meantime, a helping hand for all the linguistically challenged foreigners flocking to our shores: if you're ever forced to sit an exam, just randomly intersperse your conversation with the simple expressions 'to be fair,' 'at the end of the day,' 'f*ck off' and 'you know what I mean?' and you'll pass for native speaker standard no bother at all.