Boxing Day

Don't be fooled by that benign bourgeois guff about toffs handing out trinkets to their servants, Boxing Day was only ever made a holiday so that people could finish scoffing all the food they needlessly cooked the morning before, and then panic buy exactly the same amount of rubbish next year. I breakfasted on Christmas cake - why does the marzipan always fall off as soon as you pick the damn thing up? - cut-price cherry scones and an orange, then went for a slow run to work it all off before getting stuck into the rest of my chocolates.